The Basics: Overview

Talk with your teen about how to prevent STIs (sexually transmitted infections) — even if you don’t think your teen is sexually active.

STIs are also called STDs (sexually transmitted diseases). If talking about sex and STIs with your teen makes you nervous, you’re not alone. It can be hard to know where to start. But it’s important to make sure your teen knows how to stay safe.

How do I talk with my teen?

Use these tips to help you talk to your teen about preventing STIs:

  • Think about what you want to say ahead of time
  • Be honest about how you feel
  • Try not to give your teen too much information at once
  • Use examples to start a conversation
  • Talk while you are doing something together
  • Get ideas from other parents

You can also ask your child’s doctor to talk with your teen about preventing STIs. This is called STI prevention counseling.

The Basics: STI Facts

Why do I need to talk with my teen?

All teens can use accurate information about how to prevent STIs. Teens whose parents talk with them about sex and how to prevent STIs aren’t more likely to have sex. But they are more likely to make healthy choices about sex when they’re older.

In fact, teens say that their parents have a bigger influence on their decisions about sex than the media, their siblings, or their friends. 

Find out more about why it’s important to talk to your kids about sex.

Young people are more likely to get STIs.

More than half of all STI cases in the United States happen in young people ages 15 to 24 years. Teens are at a higher risk than adults of getting STIs for several reasons. For example, they may:

  • Not know they need tests to check for STIs
  • Not use condoms correctly every time they have sex
  • Have sexual contact with multiple partners during the same period of time

Some LGBTQ teens may also be at higher risk for STIs.

What do I need to know about STIs?

STIs are diseases that can spread from person to person during vaginal, anal, or oral sex. Some STIs can also spread during any kind of activity that involves skin-to-skin sexual contact.

STIs are sometimes called STIs, or sexually transmitted infections. Examples of STIs include genital herpes, chlamydia, gonorrhea, and HIV.

These diseases are very common. Although many STIs can be cured, they can cause serious health problems if they aren’t treated. Many STIs don’t have any symptoms, so the only way to know for sure if you have an STI is to get tested. Learn more about STDs.

The Basics: Prevention

What do I tell my teen about preventing STIs?

Talk to your teen about what STIs are and how to prevent them. Use the facts and resources below to talk with your teen.

It’s important to learn about STIs and how they spread.

Knowing the facts helps teens protect themselves. Check out these websites together:

Complete abstinence is the only sure way to prevent STIs.

Complete abstinence means not having any kind of sexual contact. This includes vaginal, anal, or oral sex and skin-to-skin sexual contact. Complete abstinence prevents STIs.

Discuss this information about abstinence with your teen.

Condoms can help prevent STIs.

Make sure your teen knows how to use condoms — even if you don’t think they’re sexually active. Offer to help get condoms if your teen doesn’t know where to go. Share these resources:

It’s important for teens to talk with their partners about STIs before having sex.

Encourage your teen to talk with their partner about STI prevention before having sex. Say that you understand it may not be easy, but it’s important for your teen to speak up. These tips can help:

The Basics: Testing

Your teen may need to get tested for STIs.

Ask your teen to talk honestly with the doctor or nurse about any sexual activity. That way, the doctor can decide which tests your child may need. For example, sexually active teens may need to get tested for:

It’s important to help your teen develop a trusting relationship with the doctor or nurse. Step out of the room to give them a chance to ask about STI testing and prevention in private.

This is an important step in teaching teens to play an active role in their health care. Get more tips on helping teens take charge of their health care.

Keep in mind that your teen can get tested for STIs at the doctor — or go to a clinic. To find an STI clinic near you:

The Basics: Other Topics to Discuss

How can I talk to my teen about preventing pregnancy?

It’s also important for all teens to know about preventing pregnancy. Check out these resources with your teen:

How can I help my teen build healthy relationships?

Families have different rules about when it’s okay for teens to start dating. Whatever your rules are, the best time to start talking about healthy relationships is before your teen starts dating.

Help your teen develop healthy expectations for relationships. Get tips for talking to your kids about healthy relationships.

Take Action: Be Prepared

Help protect your teen from STIs by sharing the facts they need to make healthy decisions.

Think about what you want to say ahead of time.

It’s normal to be nervous when talking to your teen about something like STIs. Learn about STIs so you’ll be ready for the conversation. You may also want to practice what you’ll say to them with another adult, like your partner or another parent.

Before you talk with your teen about preventing STIs:

Take Action: Start Talking

Be honest about how you feel.

Talking with your teen about how to prevent STIs may not be easy for you. It’s normal for both of you to feel uncomfortable — and it’s okay to be honest about how you feel.

Remember, when you’re honest with your teen, they’re more likely to be honest with you. And keep in mind that your teen may ask a question you can’t answer. That’s okay! Tell them you’re not sure — then look up the answer together.

Try not to give your teen too much information at once.

You have plenty of time to talk about preventing STIs. You don’t need to fit everything into 1 conversation — it’s actually better if you don’t. Give your teen time to think — they may come back later and ask questions.

Make this the first conversation of many about preventing STIs. 

Take Action: Conversation Tips

Listen and ask questions.

Show your teen that you’re paying attention and trying to understand their thoughts and feelings. Try these tips:

  • Repeat back what your teen says in your own words. For example, “So you don’t think you’re at risk for getting an STI?”
  • Ask questions to help guide the conversation. For example, “Have you talked in school about how to prevent STIs?”
  • Ask questions that check for your teen’s understanding. For example, “What did you learn about how STIs spread?”
  • Talk about something that happened in a movie or TV show. For example, “It looks like they had sex without using a condom. What do you think about that?”

Get more tips for listening to your teen.

Talk while you are doing something together.

Sometimes it’s easier to have a conversation while you’re doing something else at the same time. For example, try talking with your teen about sex and STIs when you’re driving in the car or cooking dinner.

You can still show your teen that you are listening to them by nodding your head or repeating what they say.

Get ideas from other parents.

Remember that you aren’t the only person thinking about how to talk to a teen about preventing STIs. Ask other parents what they have done. You may be able to get helpful tips and ideas.

Take Action: Prevention Counseling

Ask your teen’s doctor about STI prevention counseling.

Experts recommend that all teens who are sexually active get counseling to prevent STIs. That means it’s part of a doctor’s job to help teens learn how to prevent STIs. 

STI counseling may happen as part of your teen’s regular doctor visits. For example, the doctor may: 

  • Give your teen basic information about STIs and how they spread
  • Figure out your teen’s risk of getting or spreading an STI
  • Teach your teen important skills — like how to use condoms and how to get tested for STIs

The doctor may also refer your teen to a health educator or counselor for STI prevention counseling. 

What about cost?

Under the Affordable Care Act, insurance plans must cover certain STI prevention counseling and screening services for teens.

Depending on your insurance plan, your teen may be able to get STI counseling and screening at no cost to you. Check with your insurance company to find out more. 

Your child may also qualify for free or low-cost health insurance through Medicaid or the Children’s Health Insurance Program (CHIP). Learn about coverage options for your family.

If you don’t have insurance, your child may still be able to get free or low-cost counseling and screening. Find a health center near you and ask about STI prevention.

To learn more, check out these resources: